


An Ending Before a Beginning

by Kitty_KatAllie



Series: Do You Believe in Fairies? [4]
Category: Harvest Moon: Animal Parade
Genre: Comfort/Angst, Gen, Light Angst, Unrequited Crush, something like a love triangle but not
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-25
Updated: 2018-02-25
Packaged: 2019-03-23 16:46:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13791909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kitty_KatAllie/pseuds/Kitty_KatAllie
Summary: The talk Renee and Toby had after the fight with Evie in chapter 27 "The Past's Pride." A long overdue talk that heals even as it hurts.





	An Ending Before a Beginning

It was dark and cold while outside thunder crashed and rain poured. Steady as a metronome, rain dripped plip by plick to the pots around the one-room… house. Renee watched as Evie closed the bathroom door, then hesitantly set her hand on Toby’s arm. Despite the gloom, she’d come to know him too well to be fooled by his placid features and languid movements. As she suspected, he tensed beneath the light weight of her hand, his face even more wooden and stiff in the flickering of lightning.

Just weeks ago, her heart would’ve been thumping too hard to bear. Her breath would’ve caught and her palms would’ve sweated. His features, dear and familiar as they were, she would’ve drunk down like a woman trapped weeks in a desert having found an oasis. Now, though, she tightened her grip over his arm and bent to meet his half-lidded gaze. She knew concern would be etched across her too expressive face, and that perhaps her concern for him (for _them_ ) would be unwelcome. Not least because Evie was just yards and a single door away.

“Toby, are you truly all right?” Renee whispered, feeling strangely guilty.

“I should be,” he replied softly, mouth twitching in a facsimile of a smirk. When Renee just gazed steadily at him, his façade crumpled– his hand covered his face and his shoulders bowed. Renee tutted and quickly wrapped her arms around him.

“It’s okay, Toby. It’s okay to be upset about this,” she said, tone assuring and kind.

“She’s new here, she’s younger’n _you_ , and I barely know her. It shouldn’t’ve hurt so much to hear her say that,” he said, voice thick and low. It sent her heart tumbling with sympathy so intense it had tears springing to her eyes.

Renee tightened her embrace, enough that he inhaled sharply. She quickly lightened up with a giggle. “Sorry, I forget my own strength.”

“I remember,” Toby said, dropping his hand to gift her with a real, if small, smile.

She dropped her arms away at last and clasped them behind her back, rocking side to side slightly and frowning. In response to her anxious jitters, Toby reached out to clasp her shoulder, firm and grounding. She stilled and gazed at him with her brows pulled too tightly over her nose.

“Renee, I’ll be fine.”

“You should talk to her!” she blurted. She glanced towards the bathroom door, but the sound of the shower was rattling loudly in the old pipes of the house. Oddly out of place little splashes accompanied the shower’s blasting. She turned back to Toby, who was waiting with an inscrutable expression. “What she said hurt, and she’s obviously struggling with what she wants… and what she’s feeling. You should be honest with her about how _you_ feel and what _you_ want.”

Her hands twisted behind her back, cold skin heating at the repetitive wringing. Toby’s hand fell to his side and he looked away. Just barely, she could see his ears turning ruddy red as his hand covered his mouth.

“It’s that obvious?” he mumbled behind his hand.

“To anyone with eyes not Evie,” Renee said with a not quite sardonic twist to her mouth.

“She doesn’t want to talk about it. And forcing my feelings on her when she isn’t ready isn’t going to make her stay. She’ll just run away faster,” he said at last. He turned to the fridge, jerking it open to grab the few eggs sitting inside as well as a few other breakfast things.

“You don’t know that, Toby!”

“I think what happened here this morning proves it, Rey,” Toby said dryly. The fridge snicked shut and he set everything out on the counter.

“But… but you’re _together_. You went to the Firefly Festival together! You sleep over!” Renee blushed to the roots of her hair and covered her mouth with her hands when Toby turned to _stare_ at her. If it weren’t Toby, it would’ve been a glare. “I… I’m sorry. I just…When she looks at you… it’s exactly how I used to, Toby,” she whispered, hands and chin dropping.

And she knew it was true. The _used to_. It was still there, lingering on the edges of her heart, like a bruise not quite healed and tender when pressed. But watching the two of them together, seeing their eyes follow the other and dart away wistfully, somehow pining even as they ended up together at the end of the day…

Renee knew when to give up. When her feelings weren’t welcome and… In a way, it was liberating. Knowing she had a chance to find someone who looked at her the way Toby looked at Evie. He’d never looked at her like that. Fondly, affectionately, and maybe once or twice there had been something more, yes. But he’d never been mesmerized by her. Never with longing or a sweet blush when she caught him. Never lowered his voice so only she could hear his teasing that was _meant_ to make her blush. Never with a gentle brush of his hand to her cheek when he thought no one was looking.

She was envious– because she _wanted_ something like that. She had dreamed she might have it. But Toby hadn’t… And now she couldn’t imagine it. Not now. Not with him. Not when she’d be the girl he’d settle for, not the girl he… he… lo–

Hands fell on her shoulders and she glanced up through blurry eyes to see his worried face.

“Rey.”

She closed her eyes and shook her head. “Please, don’t say you’re sorry,” she pleaded quietly. “I don’t need that, Toby.”

“I am, though,” he said just as softly. She hiccupped and buried her face in her hands. “Renee, maybe… maybe I might’ve… There were times last year–”

“No, no! Really, Toby! If there had been anything, if there could have been anything, then Evie coming… that wouldn’t have stopped it. Neither of us said anything, or acted any differently, and I never felt like you led me on. I value our time together so much. Please, don’t feel guilty for falling for someone else,” Renee said, shaking her head and sniffled. She looked up and, half-laughing, half-crying, tried to glare. “I really won’t forgive you if you do anything stupid now.”

Toby sighed, shoulders slumping. “I wouldn’t do that to you, Renee. If Evelyn hadn’t–”

“I _definitely_ don’t want you to finish that,” Renee interrupted quickly. She might think it, but hearing Toby say it out loud would break her heart in a way losing her chance hadn’t. “She _is_ here, and you _do_ have those feelings.”

“I do,” he agreed. His hands tightened briefly before dragging her into a hug. One hand cupped the back of her head and the other wrapped around her shoulders.

Renee blinked teary eyes in surprise and for the first time sank into his embrace. She didn’t regret that the first time would probably be the only time. Instead there was something light in her, curling up the edges of her mouth. He felt safe and kind and… like her friend. One of her very best friends. Whatever remained of those almost _something_ feelings, she let it slip away silently.

“You’re one of my favorite people, Renee. I will always like being with you and value you. You understand that, right?” he murmured against her temple.

“Yeah, I feel the same,” she agreed, nodding and giggling when her nose bumped his shoulder. “I’m fine. But… you’re _not_.” She stepped back and met his eyes again, her face serious. Toby sighed and stepped back as well. For once, she didn’t fight the urge to lean back into his space, content to let him distance himself.

“I will be. It’s… it’s between me ‘n Evelyn, Rey. We’ll figure it out,” he told her firmly.

Renee frowned, but with another look at his stern face, acquiesced with a sigh. “You’re right.”

“Thanks,” he said, smiling crookedly. He cleared his throat and looked away. “I should actually get breakfast started before she gets out.”

“Oh, right! Her clothes!” Renee exclaimed, jumping in place before rushing to the suitcase shoved hastily out of the way of the leaks. Toby chuckled as he started up the gas stove.

She glanced over at him, squinting through the gloom and candlelight at his profile. But he was his usual self, placid and calm and deceptively in control. She hoped Evie figured herself out before it was too late. Whether or not Renee was in love with him, she did love him. Loved them both, honestly.

The idea of either of them heartbroken had a new anxiety building in her chest.

 _Get yourself together, Renee. You have your own life to worry about. Toby and Evie are the business of Toby and Evie_. Renee nodded once, jaw clenching in determination.

Deep in her heart, Renee was glad to have that secret burden finally lifted away. She never liked that creeping jealousy building between her and her new friend. Renee resolved right then and there, as she gathered the dry clothes Evie needed, not to _ever_ tell Evie about her conversation with Toby. No one needed that headache.

 _No one likes a love triangle, after all._ She smiled to herself as she knocked on the bathroom door.

**Author's Note:**

> I know this is really short! So I decided to go ahead and post it now. I hope this is something you've all actually been waiting for, or knowing it would happen eventually. I think I put down enough hints?? I like the idea of *almost* triangles, especially since there are the original canon pairings to pay some kind of homage to, and feelings are messy. However, I dislike actually WRITING them. So, you may notice hints of certain feelings from characters that end up going nowhere (especially in the main story). 
> 
> As for the main story: I've barely even started the next chapter, but I've got the next, like, 4 planned and titled. So... hopefully they'll all be on time! See you around 3/21! (Maybe sooner)


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